I finally find a spot I deem to be worth spending more than a second at. I sit down on my heels and just watch the forest. I’m far enough away that I can barely hear my classmates and can no longer smell the intense manure of the nearby farmland, my intention. I sit there for a good amount of time, trying my hardest to see what I could not. I have always had difficulty seeing the forest through the trees. I focus too much on the details and forget or neglect to see the big picture. As I was sitting there, I was focusing on how green the leaves of the beech trees and tall oaks were, observing how old and gnarly the roots of the fallen trees are, how dense the moss is on that branch, isn’t that moss growing on the north side of the trunk? The sun is casting dappled golden light on the leaf litter. I don’t even know what I’m looking for at this point. Cognitively, I know that there is a giant ecosystem in this place, but I’m not if I’m just being dense or if I’m just focusing too much on the trees to see it.
Personally, I find this very interesting because it is a “problem” that I don’t see. I don’t think there is a such thing as viewing nature wrong because it is all personal. I think focusing on the little details is a talent many lack and something you should be proud of. If your way of viewing nature is on a small scale and that helps you feel connected, I think that’s awesome.
Your view of the forest is really incredible! You claim you don’t know what to look at, but really there is nothing you have to look at – it’s all about what you notice. I love your description of the gnarled roots and the “dappled golden light” on the leaves. You are actively observing nature, and you’re doing a fantastic job of relaying that in your writing. If anything, I would love to see how you think these things you notice play together to create the ecosystem, the forest you are trying to find!
PS I think the moss thing growing on only the north side is just a myth, but then again I did see a tree with moss painted strongly only on one side of it, so who know!